OT: Kapwa - My Self in Others’ Photos
February 24th, 2006 | by ka edong |(Warning, off-topic, non-tech article …)
Last night, I was at a book launching at Powerbooks, Greenbelt3. The book was entitled “Kapwa” (the self in others), written by Katrin de Guia.
There was a talakayan (discussion) and people were invited to speak. I wanted speak but didn’t. If I did, this is what I would have said:
I’m Edwin S. Soriano and I’m mentally retarded.
I grew up in Baguio and studied in a school for special children, Special Education Center. I had classmates more mentally retarded (“mentally retardeder”) than I – Kidlat de Guia, Chavi Romawac, Tanya Hamada. The KKK brothers, Kidlat, Kawayan and Kabunyan as well as Hannah Romawac were in the same school for special children too. It was a special school with many special memories for retarded kids like us.
And two weeks ago, I re-lived my childhood briefly, and all so overwhelmingly.
Two weeks ago, I was in this same place (Powerbooks) with my friend. From the corner of my eye, a name on a book caught my attention: “Katrin de Guia”. I immediately took the thick book in my hands, verified if it was indeed the Katrin that I knew (it was), and started flipping the pages.
Being mentally retarded, I didn’t read. Instead, I looked at the photographs. And man, those photographs hit me like a rock in the middle of my forehead.
What I am about to express to you, I am not sure if I can accurately articulate. But bear with me.
I flipped through the pages of the book, saw familiar faces. Aureaus, Eric (who will still be Eric to me because Kidlat is Kidlat), Kawayan, Kabunyan and Kidlat.
Langya, Kidlat! That’s what you looked like when you were 1 year old! Cute ka pa nuon, siyet!
Photo after photo, it was like I was being sucked in by the Katrin’s book. The collage of Eric which I remember seeing back in Baguio, in Tuding. The Photo Me strips of Eric and Kawayan and Kabunyan. The picture of Eric and Katrin as a young couple, maybe around 30 years of age – just about the my age now. Man, naging young couple rin pala sina Eric and Katrin once upon a time. I always pictured you as Nanay and Tatay of Kidlat, not as a young couple that you were in those photographs.
The hairs on my nape and on my arms were standing at attention for so long, I felt as if they got permed permanently right that moment.
So powerfully, those pictures grabbed me. They took me back to my childhood. It wasn’t as if I was *in* those photographs. But in those photographs, I felt myself, I felt my childhood, I even felt the part of my childhood that I didn’t have.
Isn’t that the self in others?
Edwin
MR
